Or, if Brother Al isn't handy, slap the nearest hysterical global warming alarmist. I'm freezing my ample ass here in middle Missouri, and I'm hardly alone. People are freezing to death in Memphis, snowfall records are falling in Vermont and Seoul, and places like Iowa and Beijing are experiencing the coldest winter in decades.
Maybe atmospheric conditions have less to do with the little curly light bulbs we all have to by now and more to do with that big, giant nuclear fire-ball in the sky.
I'm just saying...